Considering My Future

I wonder why I shall go in the next year. I guess I will follow what my parents planned for me, at least for the next two years. Go to the community college for the next two years and get some of my basics out of the way at a far cheaper rate. Which means I could probably still keep my job at the SGC while going to school. Someday I think this would be a good idea, but at the same time I know on those bad days it will cause me a lot of stress.

I worry about my Matthew a lot, since his works fucks him over left and right, which blows for him and makes me worry. I wish society wasn't such a shit hole when it comes to trying to work and do your job, people above you continue to shit on you and you feel that someday if you make it to the top you could fix it, but seems like an endless cycle of being stuck under the gigantic shit pile of society. I'd love to somehow make Matthew's dreams come true, have him get transferred, and be able to go to school.

I think I would like to get a business degree, to somehow rise above these stupid corporations that no longer understand what it's like to work on the floor level anymore, and make them see what it's like, and that happier employee's mean more income and higher numbers, so at the end of the day everyone wins. From the highest level to the basement, everyone wins.

I've been told I go on power trips, however I really don't know if I do. I believe it's more of a misunderstanding. Most people understand that I don't sugar coat things, if I believe something, I am most likely going to call it out. So when I'm working, I will end my statements with a period and not a kind question mark. See where I work I am the youngest one, which causes issues. Not many people want to listen to someone younger than them, even if the fact is they know more on a subject than themselves. So to have someone follow orders or even listen to you, one has to command their respect. I am much "kinder" to those who show me respect already, but I've found if they wish me to respect them, they must first show that they understand I know what I speak of and am not a complete idiot, as they believe.

Hmm I really just am unsure of what tomorrow will bring for me. I guess that's how it is with a lot of people. Last night I was chatting with my ex boyfriend Adam, and he had always been set on becoming a pharmacist and now that he is working in a lab, he's discovered he hates it. I would have never expected that from him, but I guess no one is ever entirely sure of what they want until they finally get there and try it out. Just for me I have no idea really what I want to try out first. If I actually had a following on my blog I would ask you all for advice to where I should start, but since I don't I will ask of my mind to consider different options for me.

Today marks 9 months with Matthew. He means a lot to me, for sure more than anyone else in my past. I hope things continue to go well, because in a way I really feel we are meant to be together forever.

I wish I had the energy to clean my bedroom out, and clean my car while the weather is still nice. But most of all I wish I had the brain power right now to do all my late assignments for Monday and study for an AP Calc test that I most likely will bomb, since it's over a chapter I barely have a grasp on at all. I do know one thing about my future, I hope I'm not in a job that requires Calc. It's such a silly math, I honestly see no practicality to it unless you become a math teacher to teach the subject!

Well I am going to see how far my movie has loaded, and if it get's clogged up I shall return to this page to write more.

(Five Minutes Later...)

Yeah....seems it didn't load very far...I'm off to the kitchen to find some food. Until next time